Let the Bough Break
by Frannie1
Summary: The rebellion is over. Katniss is back in District 12. She has lost almost everything: Prim is dead, her mother cannot return to the district, and Gale has relocated to District 2. Their district in ruins, Katniss and Peeta have nothing left to do but heal together, and find their places in a new world.
1. Chapter 1

Katniss Everdeen knelt in the soft, black soil outside her house, a pair of garden shears in her hand. The late summer sun was beating down on her back. She carefully cradled the primrose bloom in between her fingers, cut the stem with the shears, and placed it in the basket behind her. The basket was already filled with goldenrod and violets from the meadow. This was part of her daily routine, picking flowers, placing them in her basket, and arranging them for the dinner table. Day after day, after day. Dr Aurelius had said that having a routine would be good for her, and would help her recover faster. She wasn't sure if it was helping, but had been trying to stick to her routines for several weeks now, nursing the scraggly little primrose bushes into thriving plants. It made her feel good, she found, to help something grow, instead of destroying things, as had been the norm in the Games, and in the rebellion. These little flowers depended on her care, and being depended on was something she had all but lost since leaving the Capitol. The primroses were almost spent, their season started much earlier, first coming out in spring. These would be the last flowers of the season, but she could enjoy the greenery for a bit longer.

She was mostly on her own, now. Her mother was helping people in the other districts, and Prim...Prim was gone. Dead. Not even her cat, Buttercup, depended on Katniss. He always did curl up at her feet on the bed, though, seeking warmth and companionship. She had tried to be nicer to him, since she doubted Prim would have approved of them not getting along. He ran past her now, a blur of fur, chasing and pouncing on grasshoppers. He was the one thing in District 12 that had not changed, still a surly feline by anyone's reckoning. Mostly everything had been destroyed in the bombing, and now everyone was helping to rebuild the district. Housing was going up very slowly, but fields were being plowed and sown with seeds. It reminded her the fields she saw in District 11.

Now that she was on her own, she had no one to stay together for. She could completely fall apart, and it wouldn't affect anyone. Buttercup could manage without her. He would find some other human to feed him just fine. But then again, she wasn't completely alone. Her mother and Prim may have been gone, but Haymitch and Peeta were still in the village, and she saw them nearly everyday. Peeta did not always show up for supper. She always assumed that it had to do with the tracker jacker venom that still affected him, but she never asked. She remembered what Finnick had said what seemed like ages ago: that it takes ten times as long to put yourself back together than it does to fall apart. So, just for the sake of convenience, she tried to pick up the pieces of her life.

She wiped the sweat off of her brow. It was ghastly hot, in late August. Her sleeveless shirt hardly offered any comfort. All she had managed to do was get nasty sunburns on her arms and shoulders. She had found an old sunhat of her mother's to wear to at least protect her face. Animals were scarce, seeking out the cool caves and crevices that she couldn't reach. Not to mention, she was competing with the other wild animals for game. She had managed to catch a rabbit earlier in the day, which was fortunate.

She felt her stomach rumbling, and looked up from the primrose bushes. It was getting late, and she was ready for supper. Peeta would be over with bread soon, and she already had rabbit stew cooking inside. She didn't know how he could stand being so near the hot ovens all day. At least outside, a breeze would occasionally pick up and give her some relief from the sweltering heat. She quickly cut the last primrose, and instantly felt a sharp pain in her hand. In her zeal to get inside, she had sliced her hand open. It was not a deep cut, but it was bleeding a lot. She hoped it did not need to be stitched up. "Oh, damn," she grumbled, walking quickly to the water pump. She was dizzy as soon as she got on her feet, but she ignored it. The water flowed out luke warm. It had been so hot that cold water was hard to come by. She blinked as she cleaned the wound, and saw blisters all over her hands. She started, but bit her lip to stop herself. "It's not real." She blinked again. This time, red welts up and down both her hands, and stinging, burning, excruciating pain. She cried out and fell backwards, flat on her back.

"Katniss!" And then he was helping her sit up, methodically checking her head for any bumps or bruises or cuts, wiping her hands clean with a damp cloth.

"It's okay, Peeta," she said as he helped her to her feet. She wobbled a little, but regained her balance quickly. "I just thought I saw something that wasn't there."

Peeta Mellark stared at her, brow furrowed. He touched her face, brushing her hair away from her eyes. "You're sure? You didn't hit your head or anything, did you?"

"No, I just cut my hand." She shook her head. "I swear, these shears cut skin a lot better than stems." She chuckled half-heartedly, showing him her hand. "I should probably put something on it, it might get infected." Now there really was a welt on her hand, bright red and beginning to puff up.

Peeta hurried her inside the house and sat her down in the kitchen. "Don't move," he said, before walking away to retrieve everything he needed. Before long, he was sitting beside her, dabbing her hand slowly. She winced at the sting of the alcohol. "I should find you some new shears. Those rusty old things aren't safe," he said quietly. "I'll look tomorrow. Greasy Sae might be able to hook us up with some newer ones." He took a clean cloth, poured more alcohol on it, and continued dabbing at the cut. "It doesn't look too bad. I wish you'd be more careful. What if I hadn't been right there?"

"I suppose I would have spent a little longer lying in the dirt," Katniss replied, smirking.

He frowned at her, but there was something playful in his eyes. Katniss watched him carefully cleaning off the dirt and the blood. His other hand held her wrist and he gently stroked her skin with his thumb. She stared at the scar on the back of his hand. That had been her fault, biting down on his skin when she had meant to bite the nightlock capsule. He was so warm. Strangely, that didn't bother her, even while beads of sweat trickled down between her shoulder blades. There was a closeness now, in this moment, between them that there hadn't been for a long time. It wasn't that there was any animosity between them, but their relationship had been a little strained. She had always felt that this was just part of the healing process, and things would return to normal. Whatever normal was. Nonetheless, they both always knew what the other was thinking. They hadn't lost that connection, at least.

As if sensing her eyes on him, he glanced up, his blue eyes just visible behind his messy blond hair. She wasn't sure how it happened, but they were only inches from each other, and then her lips found his. He was kissing her back as his hand gently crept behind her neck, pulling her closer. She ran her fingers through his hair. She didn't know what had come over her, why she suddenly did this, why he was letting her do this. She didn't want it to ever stop. She wasn't going to pull away. She wanted more. But they broke apart suddenly, staring at each other, searching the other's eyes. She couldn't find any words and, for once, he couldn't either.

"Anyone home?" came Haymitch Abernathy's sing-song voice. He was very close. Standing right above them, in fact.

Katniss was mortified, but Peeta's face was unchanged. He had not taken his eyes off of her. She wondered if he even knew that Haymitch had walked in on them...well, gazing into each other's eyes. She was sure her face was flushed, partly from embarrassment, and partly from the heat of the moment. He reached his hand up and tucked her hair behind her ear, exposing a scar near her eye. Her hair had been all but completely chopped off after the explosion in the Capitol, and she was trying to grow it out again. It was difficult, because they had not cut it evenly, so she had to continually lop of sections of her hair to even them out with the others. It was getting longer, though, almost long enough to braid.

Haymitch sat down at the table, putting his feet up. He was already drinking whiskey out of a clear bottle. "So, we're eating, right? I hate to break up this little love fest, but I'm starving."

"It's not a love fest, Haymitch," Katniss snapped.

"Well, whatever it was," he said, shrugging. "I'm still hungry."

Katniss glared at him, then started to get up, only to be gently pushed back to her chair by Peeta. "I'll get everything. You shouldn't be moving your hand around too much until it starts to heal." He busied himself setting the table, and serving the stew and bread. She wished he would have let her do that. She would have enjoyed mostly anything better than chit-chatting with her former mentor right now.

"What happened to your hand?" Haymitch asked gruffly, gesturing with the whiskey bottle.

"It's just a little cut," she said dismissively. "Nothing to worry about."

"It wasn't little," Peeta said, returning to the table. "Here, let me wrap it for you," he said, quickly unrolling some gauze and handing the plates to Haymitch. When her hand was sufficiently bandaged, he deftly cut the gauze with the knife he kept in his belt, and secured the wrappings. "Better?"

Katniss nodded and dug into her stew. It wasn't the grand and glorious fare of the Capitol, but it was enough for the three of them. They had been sharing meals since Peeta returned. Katniss and Haymitch still didn't always see eye to eye, and Peeta was a good buffer. They kept up a polite conversation. Peeta, as usual, did most of the talking. When Haymitch finished the bottle of whiskey, he slowly made his way back to his own house. Peeta went with to make sure he made it. Haymitch had a bad habit of being falling-down drunk after their dinners. She was slowly cleaning up when he returned. "I thought you would have gone home," she said.

"I didn't want to leave without saying goodnight." He took the dirty plates out of her hands. "Let me." He washed the plates off in the sink and handed them back to her to dry. "Erm, about...earlier," he said.

"I'm sorry," Katniss blurted out. She didn't really know why this was so awkward. She had kissed Peeta many times during the Games and the Victory Tour. But this one was different. She kissed him because she wanted to. "I wasn't feeling well—I was delusional, and hungry, and—"

"You don't have to apologize to me," he said. "I know what it's like to not be quite yourself." He gave her a small smile. "I should get going." He turned to go, with his hand on the doorknob, then stopped. "You'll be all right, won't you?"

Katniss bit her lip. She still wasn't quite sure what was going on in her head, let alone in her heart. She didn't want him to go, but she didn't want to give him the wrong idea either. She missed having his strong arms around her, the feeling of safety, the peace that a full night's sleep would give her. They had finally found the comfort of friendship again in each other, but until today, it had never been any more. Peeta had always given her space and she had done the same for him. She still didn't know what made her kiss him like that. But it was the same feeling she had when they shared a kiss on the beach during the Quarter Quell. That was the last time they had been that close, she realized. "I'll be okay," she finally said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"First thing," he said, smiling. "Maybe we can work on the book some more." He smiled and gently closed the door behind him.

Katniss exhaled slowly, looking around the empty room. She missed having people around her. This was the first time in her life that she was living alone, and the house given to her was far too large for one person. One of the good things about the Hunger Games was living in communal quarters. They had their own bedrooms, of course, but they took all their meals together. She shuddered and shook the thought of the Games out of her head, and then got ready for bed. She looked out the window, for the light in Peeta's bedroom. The electricity was not yet entirely reliable in the district, so candles were still the standard after dark. Electricity was to be saved for more important things like communication between the districts. The small flickering glow from a candle appeared and, satisfied, she climbed into bed.

Within minutes, she heard the soft padding of feet on the floor, and felt the familiar pressure at the end of her bed. Buttercup curled up beside her feet, and his steady breathing lulled her to sleep.

Morning came too quickly. She had had nightmares, and had tossed and turned, but had at least gotten through the night without waking up screaming, in a cold sweat. That wasn't to say that she hadn't woken up, however. She was never able to sleep through the night. She dressed quickly and went out to hunt. When it was this hot, it was especially important to get out early in the morning. That is, if one wanted to actually catch anything. The sun was barely up and fog stretched out over the town. Once she had gotten to the woods, she checked the traps she had laid out. Two more rabbits. That wasn't bad. She would have to try and trade it for something in town. Maybe she could find another pair of garden shears that were less dangerous and less rusted. Katniss spent the next two hours tracking a family of deer, but was unable to get any of them, by the end.

Sweating profusely, she washed her face off in the creek, and headed back to town. Some of the farmhands were already out, plowing and planting for a late year harvest. She wondered what they would plant. Pumpkins or onions maybe. Another crop of lettuce would be nice. Behind the field were several rows of apple trees. The children would often be the ones gathering the ripened fruit in the afternoon, as there was no school to keep them occupied.

The village square now housed an open air market, which was a stark contrast from the Hob. The market was teeming with people trading and buying. She found Greasy Sae, but unfortunately she did not have anything like new garden shears, so Katniss traded one of the rabbits for a bushel of apples. Maybe Peeta could make some sweet rolls with these, she thought as she approached his house. She knocked on his door and stepped inside. "Peeta?" She deposited the rabbit, apples, and bow and arrows by the door, stepping further inside. She had never spent much time in his house. He always seemed to come to her. His furniture was very dark, very modern-looking, compared to hers. Peeta had very few possessions, it seemed. Everything would have been destroyed in the bombing, since his family was unable to get out. She had offered many times to help him search through the rubble for his belongings, but he had always refused. He would lie, saying that there really had been nothing there of his own, having been the youngest of three boys.

She noticed that the television was damaged, cracked in the middle. She wondered if he had done that in a fit of rage. Peeta wasn't an angry person at all, but occasionally the tracker jacker venom took hold of him, and he could hardly control himself. She walked into the study, which he had turned into a workshop. Several canvases were set up, some half-covered with paint, others filled with pencil sketches. Some were absolutely terrifying, filled with images from her own nightmares. Others she didn't want to tear her eyes from, because they were so beautiful. She recognized Annie and Finnick's wedding. He had painted the dancing, captured the movement and the joy of that moment. It was so short-lived. One painting in the room was complete. It was Prim. She was in a meadow, surrounded by flowers. Katniss bit her lip, trying to suppress the flood of emotion that was threatening to come out. She turned and walked out quickly.

The whole house smelled like baking bread, but it got more and more tempting as she neared the kitchen. She saw he had an enormous oven and a fire was blazing inside it right now. Peeta must have been up very early. She sat down, watching the flickering firelight, almost mesmerized by it. She suddenly heard the creaking of floorboards and turned around to face the person coming down the stairs. "You should lock your front door. Anybody could just walk right in."

He smiled. "As long as it's just you, I'm okay with that."

"I brought some apples for you," she said. "By the door. I traded one of my rabbits for them."

"Thanks," he said, unloading them into a bowl on the table. "What brings you here so early? I figured I wouldn't see you for hours still."

"I don't sleep that late," she said defensively. "You were certainly up early."

"I haven't been sleeping very well," he said, frowning, taking out some fresh dough and beginning to knead it. "A few hours here and there. And at a certain point, I figure that I should just get up, if all I'm going to be doing is lying in bed with my eyes open." She didn't realize he was still that bad. She remembered that he hardly ever slept when they invaded the Capitol. She could still see him lying there, eerily awake.

She decided she needed to change the subject, get their minds off those miserable times. She could never truly get it out of her mind, but Peeta didn't have to suffer it too. Although, she doubted he did not also carry these thoughts with him always. "What kind are you making? It smells delicious."

He gestured toward the oven. "They're strawberry tarts. I used the last of the berries that we had. They were so ripe, there was nothing to do with them but cook them."

Her mouth was watering. "I hope you're going to share."

"Always," he said, smiling. He pulled them out of the oven and set them aside. "Wait until they cool. Can't have you burning yourself, especially with one hand out of commission already." He sat down across from her and they sat quietly and a little awkwardly for a few minutes. "How is your hand?"

Katniss stretched it out and flexed it. She had applied more salve and changed the bandages in the morning. "Feels better. I probably won't be digging out in the dirt for a few days, though." Peeta kept his eyes on her. "What? Why are you staring at me?"

"I think things are getting better," he said.

She furrowed her brow. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not sure," he said. "But after yesterday, I feel like I know you again. Like I've been wandering around in this fog for so long, and I've finally come out of it." He averted his eyes for a moment. "Does that make any sense?"

It did. The way he had held her, the comfort of his warmth, her hunger for his lips: those were all so familiar. She just nodded. She didn't regret what had happened, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for that kind of relationship. Maybe she should just trust her instinct, go with her heart instead of her head.

"I know I haven't been the most reliable friend lately," he said. "But if you need me, I'll always come running. You know that, right?"

She smiled. "I know. Me too." He handed her a tart. She bit into it and a rush of flavors hit her tongue. "These are amazing, Peeta! They might be my new favorite."

She thought she saw him blushing as he piled the rest of the tarts onto plates. He covered one with a cheese cloth. "Bring this to Haymitch. I have to get to the bakery. We've almost got all the debris out, so we'll be able to start rebuilding it soon."

She gathered her things at the door, balancing the plate on one hand. "That's good news. Maybe I'll come by and see you—see the progress you've made, I mean."

"That would be nice." He held open the door, waiting for her to exit first. "Otherwise, I'll see you for supper?"

She nodded, walking out. Peeta followed her out, then turned down the path to the square. Katniss watched him go, unsure of what to do next. She guessed it was only nine or ten in the morning. She left the plate of tarts by Haymitch's door. He was almost certainly still asleep, as he rarely was able to sleep at night either. What a trio they were, wide awake at night and in a haze during the day.

She whiled away the hours slowly, first cutting and arranging the flowers from the day before into a wreath, and then going through her book, writing bits here and there about her fallen friends. She stopped when she reached Prim's page. It was blank, except for her face. Peeta had drawn her so perfectly in every detail. It was as if she was still alive, staring back at Katniss, demanding to know why she wasn't moving on with her life, why she was still in mourning. Prim was the person she knew best in all the world, but she couldn't find words when she finally put her pen to paper. _Primrose Everdeen was my sister_,she wrote._ She was the kindest, gentlest person I have ever met. She was a healer: she extended life, and did not destroy it. She died in the rebellion._ The next part she did not write, but it was in her mind: _Gale's bombs killed her._


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for the very nice reviews people have been leaving. I really appreciate it! I have about half of the story written, so I plan on completing it. I am posting slowly so I have time to edit and proofread what I have written. Please do let me know if you see any technical issues within the chapters. The copy and paste function seems a little buggy.

"Well, thanks for picking up the phone. How are you feeling?" asked the scratchy voice on the other end of the line.

"Fine," Katniss replied flatly.

"Do you want me to have you taken here by hovercraft, Katniss?" Dr Aurelius didn't sound pleased. "You need to talk to me if you want to make any progress here." She didn't respond, twisting the cord around and around her fingers. He sighed loudly. "Let's start over. How are things going?"

"I'm doing everything you asked," she said.

"And?" he pressed.

"And what? I don't feel like it's helping."

"Why's that?"

"I still have terrible nightmares," she said. "I cry, and I don't even know why. I get angry, but I never know who I'm angry with."

"Okay." She was annoyed that all she was getting out of him was questions and short answers.

"I don't feel like myself," she went on. "I don't know who Katniss Everdeen is, other than what people tell me about her."

"Well, you could start by doing the things you used to do, things you like to do," he said. "Like hunting. Have you been getting out to hunt much?"

"More than I was before. But it's different." She paused.

"How so?"

"Well, I don't _need_ to hunt," she said. "With the shipments coming in from the Capitol, we all have more food than we need."

"Are you taking the herbal supplements I suggested?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Are you getting out in the sun?"

"Yes."

"Good." He paused. "I'd like to come down and see you. I'm not sure when I'll be able to make it...maybe in the spring." Another long pause. "Is that all right with you?"

"I don't know how it'll help, but do whatever you want," she said. "Don't let me stop you."

"I want you to start journaling daily," he said firmly. "And I'll be reading every entry, so they had better all be there when I arrive this spring." He paused again. "How are you getting along with Peeta? Last time we spoke, you said that things were still difficult."

"We're getting along." He didn't need to know any more than that.

"You know, Katniss, it's okay to open up to me," he said. She could hear the smile on his lips. "People confide in me: it's my job."

"We're friends, that's all. He hasn't tried to kill me recently, so I think we're making progress." That was cruel. She regretted saying it.

"Uh-huh." There was another long pause. He was probably jotting down how much more antisocial she had grown. "I will call you again soon."

There was a click and she put the phone back into the cradle. She sighed and slid along the wall, down to the floor. She hadn't even bothered getting dressed yet. She didn't want to go outside. She hadn't even wanted to get out of bed, but the loud clanging of the telephone had woken her up. She had only answered it to stop the horrible ringing. Journaling. She wondered if Dr Aurelius had asked Peeta to do all this. Probably not. Peeta probably wasn't difficult. She crawled back into bed. She would start journaling tomorrow.

Katniss awoke with a start several weeks later. The sun was streaming through the window, highlighting the dust and dirt floating through the air. The window was open, and a cool autumn breeze was blowing in. She yawned and sat up, looking around blearily. She thought it must be nine or ten o'clock. She heard a knock at the door and a quiet, "Katniss?" before Peeta appeared. Only it wasn't Peeta at all. It was Finnick Odair. He was covered in blood and stumbling towards her like the walking dead. She screamed at the top of her voice, pushing the bedsheet and quilt between them, scrambling to get away, but he kept coming, hissing her name like those horrible Mutts did. When it was within inches of her face, it shouted once more, "Katniss!"

She opened her eyes, still terrified, but no longer screaming madly. "It's okay, Katniss, you're okay," Peeta said, putting his arm around her. How he had gotten there so fast? How long had she been screaming before she woke up?

"It was Finnick, and he was covered in blood, and coming after me—he was trying to kill me! Oh, my god!" She stopped thrashing about and tried to sit still. Instead, she started trembling, and tears began leaking out of her eyes. "I can't do this," she said, barely audible. "I can't live like this anymore." She put her hands over her face and cried. She cried so hard that it hurt her chest. Peeta pulled her closer and let her rest her head in his lap. "Every night I wake up like this, one horrible nightmare after the other." And it was still night, she noticed, as he stroked her hair. "And then I wake up, and I'm still in a nightmare. My family is gone...Mom, and Prim, and Gale," she choked. "I don't know who I am half the time…or where I am."

"Shh, calm down," he said. "I have those nightmares too. And when I wake up, you're not there. I get so anxious, I want to come all the way over here and make sure you're safe. I guess tonight, I got to." He paused, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. His fingers lingered on her cheek. "And I know what it's like...not being sure who you are." That just made Katniss feel worse. She was being selfish again. Peeta had gone through hell, and he had _still_ come out a better person than she ever could be. "Nothing can get you anymore. You're safe here. Just try to fall asleep, okay? I'll stay right here. I promise."

She allowed herself to close her eyes again. She knew he would keep his promise. He had always been there for her. "Why are doing all this for me, after all that's happened? After how I've treated you?"

"Go to sleep," he said softly. The touch of his hand on her face comforted her. At length, he said, "Because after everything we've been through, I still love you."

Katniss's eyes fluttered opened. She really was awake and this time it was actually morning. She flicked her eyes around the room. Her journal lay on the bedside table, closed, collecting dust since the first entry. Her head ached and she had sweat through not only her pajamas, but the bedsheets as well. Peeta was slumped beside her, asleep. His arm was still around her, resting on her shoulder. She wondered if things had been different, could Gale have been beside her like this, protecting her from her nightmares? She had pushed Gale far from her mind, which had been fairly easy with him never returning to District 12. She wondered if he was happier now, in District 2, with some other woman, forgetting about her as Katniss was forgetting about him.

Of course, she wasn't forgetting. Not really. Just the thought of him made her chest ache with longing for a friendship that was gone. Everyone had always assumed that she and Gale would marry. It made sense. They had been best friends..._had been_. They had spent so much time together, their families were so close. And maybe that was part of why she had let him kiss her, and why she had kissed him back: they were _expected_ to be lovers. But the truth was, she didn't know if she was ready to love anyone. She wasn't even sure if she was capable of loving anyone. But at the same time...She looked at the boy lying beside her. She did care for Peeta. A great deal. She knew that. That strange feeling that stirred up inside her when they kissed, that made her want more, that made her want him. Was that love? They had been growing closer over the last month and a half, spending more and more time together. Peeta was the closest thing she had to a best friend now that Gale was gone. But it was different.

She brought his hand to her cheek, and pressed her own on top of it, touching her lips to the heel of his hand. It was cool and smooth, like the pearl he had given her what seemed like so long ago. His fingers were rough against her cheek, casualties of long hours at the bakery over the years. He was frowning and his brow was furrowed. She watched his lips move noiselessly, forming words she couldn't hear or understand. This was the first time she had really watched him sleep. His nights seemed just as restless as hers were. She turned over and rested her chin on her hand, holding herself up with her elbow. She put her hand on his cheek and the tension in his face melted away. He woke up suddenly, blinking at her, his eyes adjusting to the light.

"I'm sorry," Katniss said. "I didn't mean to wake you." She sat up and he followed suit.

"No, it's okay." He glanced at the clock, stretching. "I shouldn't have slept so late. It's already after nine. I've got a lot to do at the bakery." He slid off the bed, rubbing his leg above the prosthetic. She had never thought about it, but it must cause him discomfort. "I'm hungry, aren't you? I'll go get breakfast ready." Before she could protest that she wasn't very hungry at all, he had already left. She slowly got out of bed, taking a long look at herself. She was filthy. She drew herself a warm bath and scrubbed herself down, imagining she was washing away the nightmares of the night before. The cool water felt nice and refreshing. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander to the kiss they had shared in the kitchen. It had been over a month. The heat of the summer had slid into the cool nights and mornings of autumn. They hadn't had a chance to be that close since that August afternoon. There had been too much to do in the district. Peeta and Haymitch, surprisingly, had been helping with the rebuilding (the bakery was almost to the point where it could function again), and she had been helping out with the farming. She had also been hunting more, feeling better and better each day, even without journaling. Not to mention the time they spent working on the book. It was almost finished.

She heard Peeta coming up the stairs, and grabbed a towel to cover herself. "Peeta? Peeta, don't come in here!"

"What?" he said, popping his head around the corner. "I told you before, nakedness doesn't embarrass me."

"Yeah, well, it does me!" she nearly shouted. His back was towards her, and when he turned his head slightly, she noticed his eyes were closed just for good measure. "What do you want, anyway?" she asked, more calmly. She knew she was flushed with embarrassment.

"Haymitch is here," he said. "He wants to talk to us. He said it's important."

Haymitch was actually awake? "Okay. I'll be down in a minute." She waited until he had left, and then she stepped out of the tub and got dressed. When she made it down to the kitchen, they were both having tea. She was sure that Haymitch's was spiked, of course. "What's going on?"

Haymitch placed his cup back in its saucer. "Another airship is coming in soon with more refugees."

"More?" Katniss said. "We barely have enough space for everyone now, let alone enough food to feed everyone."

"My point exactly," he said. "Against my better judgment, I offered the Victor's Village up as housing for the newcomers."

"That's a great idea," Peeta said, smiling. "What can we do to help?"

Haymitch took another swig from his cup. "You can start by packing." Peeta and Katniss looked at each other, confused, then turned back to Haymitch. "My house is a pit, even I can admit that. Peeta, you're just as comfortable here as you are at your own house." Peeta shrugged. "And let's face it, Katniss is the most unstable out of all of us, so we shouldn't uproot her."

Katniss frowned. "You're saying you're going to move in with me?" The thought of all three of them living under one roof again made her nervous.

"For the good of everyone, yes. That's what I'm saying." He leaned back in his chair. "Any objections?"

"Just who is going to get stuck cleaning out your house?" Katniss said, crossing her arms.

"I thought that might be a good project for you, sweetheart," Haymitch said, smirking. He tapped the side of his nose. "In fact, I bet it's just what the doctor ordered."

And so it was, she found out after speaking with Dr Aurelius personally over the phone. She muttered obscenities under her breath when she opened Haymitch's door. Empty bottles littered the floor. It was odd. She doubted Haymitch ever lifted a finger to clean this place, but the amount of filth always remained the same, never really getting worse, but never getting better either. She sighed and started picking up the bottles. Once those were cleaned up, it wasn't so bad. Within four or five hours, she was closing the door behind her. She sniffed the air, smelling liquor. She was disgusted that the smell was coming from her. "Thanks, Haymitch," she grumbled. If anything had been in her stomach, it would have undoubtedly come up.

She stalked back to her house—or _their_ house now. It wasn't that she was opposed to the idea of living with Peeta and Haymitch. Haymitch was a slob. He was going to have to change his ways. And Peeta...there was absolutely nothing wrong with Peeta. Other than the fact that he was madly in love with her, and she still couldn't sort out her emotions either way. Up to this point, he had always been a gentleman, but what if things changed? What if the venom that still flowed in his veins caused him to lose his inhibitions when it came to her? Or worse yet, what if he asked her to marry him? She definitely wasn't ready for that. She maybe had been through a war, but that didn't make her feel any less like a child. Gale had always made her feel so young, so ignorant, and after the last year, nothing had changed. She still felt small and weak, and especially ignorant. She had thought nothing of the fake marriage. It was nonexistent, after all. If she were really to marry someone, it would not be out of the need to survive or to protect those she loved, it would be out of choice. Would she ever really choose to marry Peeta? Could she marry him? Sleep with him, have his children? Of course, they had shared a bed many nights, but nothing else had ever happened. He had never tried to touch her in that way. The thought made her uncomfortable, and she dismissed it from her mind for the moment.

She stepped inside the house, and had barely gone two paces, when she kicked the first empty bottle. It skidded across the floor and broke when it hit the wall. She sighed loudly. Now she would have to clean that up too. It wasn't hard to find Haymitch. He was lounging on the sofa, feet up on an end table that he had moved to the middle of the room, his token flask in one hand and a book in the other. "Comfortable?" She raised her foot and kicked the end table out from underneath his legs.

"What's the big idea?" He had spilled alcohol down his front.

"Is this all you've been doing all day, while we've been slaving away cleaning and arranging furniture?" she nearly shouted. She looked around and listened. "Where's Peeta?" Instead of waiting for an answer, she railed on, "Or did you almost kill him having him lug your stuff around?" She was fuming. "You're going to have to make some serious changes if you want to live with me. We're not just here to clean up after you, you know!"

He narrowed his eyes. "Is that right?"

"That's right," Katniss said angrily. "You can start by cleaning yourself up. And I don't want to see that flask again either."

Haymitch stood up and downed the alcohol. He glared at her and tossed the flask on the sofa. "Next time I'll bring a bottle."

She was glad when he had gone. Probably he went to his bedroom to drink some more. "He can just drink himself to death," she muttered. This was just like the living quarters during the games, except there, she could just lock Haymitch out. Unfortunately the only lock in the house was on the front door. The most she could hope for was for him to wander off at night and find himself locked out.

Katniss grabbed an apple from the kitchen and headed up to her bedroom. She needed to get out of these foul-smelling clothes. Peeta was in her room when she arrived. He was lying on the bed. Was he asleep? She tapped on the doorframe. No response. She quickly slipped into some clean clothes. He certainly had the right idea, she thought, yawning and sitting down in an armchair. She was just nodding off, when the half-eaten apple slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor with a thud. As she was picking it up, she heard Peeta mumbling.

"No," Peeta murmured. "No, please, don't hurt her." His face was contorted in fear and anger. "No, stop, no! She didn't know, couldn't have known—please, no!" He shot straight up, breathing heavily. He put his hand to his brow, muttering something unintelligible. But she caught one word: Katniss.

"Peeta?" she said.

He started, clutching at his shirt. "Katniss! I didn't know you were there." He wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I must have been dreaming." He looked embarrassed for once, this eloquent boy who always knew what to say and when to say it.

Katniss went over to him and held his hand. The skin on his hands and wrists was red and she wondered why. She didn't say anything at first, just stroked his hand, which was entwined with her own. "What was it this time?"

He looked down at their hands, thinking. "The tracker jacker venom brings back terrible memories from the Capitol. I had to come in here and rest because of it...another episode, I guess." Katniss remembered the last time she had seen him come under attack by the venom. He had locked himself in his own bedroom for several hours, not wanting to risk being out in the open. He had pulled the footboard clear off the bed, and she had helped him pick the splinters out of his hands afterwards. "Haymitch saw me, but I was able to control myself this time."

She touched his wrist and ran her fingers lightly on the bruising. "What is this from?"

He glanced toward the rope laying at the foot of the bed. "I had to wrap my hands and wrists around that...give myself something to grip. I didn't want to wreck anything." He withdrew his hands and hid them by folding his arms. "Haymitch finished the rest of the moving for me. Told me to come up here and rest before you came back. I figured I'd better not argue with him."

Katniss felt awful, her stomach in knots. She had just shouted at Haymitch for all the wrong reasons. He had helped, and he had kept an eye on Peeta, who still needed protection from himself. Why hadn't he told her what had happened? He had just let her scream. He rested his head against hers. "I'm glad you were here when I woke up. Just like old times." He paused, looking at her. "It's funny, but I really owe a lot to the Capitol."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, annoyed. "They nearly killed you!"

He shook his head. "If I hadn't been reaped, I may never have had the courage to talk to you."

She looked away. "I think things would have turned out very different if that hadn't happened." Peeta had touched on something that she had been trying not to think about. What would have happened if he had not been reaped that day and if she had not volunteered for Prim? Chances are, things would have gone on much the same as they had been. There would have been no rebellion, because they would not have had their Mockingjay to start the fire. She would have married Gale, and he probably would have convinced her to have children. Would Peeta have found another woman? Would he have ended up like his father, married to another woman, but still pining for Katniss? Or would he have given up on Katniss and just lived in misery for the rest of his life, alone? This was the thought that bothered her most of all. She had taken his love for granted, and when it was ripped away, she was miserable. More miserable than when Gale had been flogged in the square, when he could have died. "I don't want to think about that, though," she finally said.

"Me either," he said. "I'm just glad you're here with me now. Protecting me like you did that night in the Capitol." He was talking about the night they were ambushed by the reptilian mutts, the ones she often dreamed about.

"I told you, that's my job." She smiled. "It's nice to feel needed, though," she said. "Lately it's been me that's needed protecting."

He shook his head, staring up at her. "I'll always need you, Katniss."

She hugged him then, tightly. "I still need you too, Peeta," she whispered, burying her face in his neck. She felt his warm arms wrap around her. She was so happy in that moment that even with all the destructive technology the Capitol had, they were not able to change the boy with the bread.

She stayed with him until he fell back to sleep, lightly stroking his forehead, brushing his bangs aside over and over. She recognized the dark circles under his eyes. He had worn those ever since they had come back after the first Games. She also wore those tired circles, plagued by the same nightmares. But her body seemed to be healing much better than his. He still looked pale and weak, while she almost looked healthy. She kissed his forehead lightly before she left, and when she went downstairs, she found Haymitch in the study. She sat down next to him on the couch and sighed. "I guess I owe you an apology." He looked at her expectantly. "So, I'm sorry that I yelled at you. Peeta told me what happened." She paused, waiting for a response that did not come. So she asked, "How bad was it? He made nothing of it, as usual."

Haymitch slowly exhaled. "It wasn't good, but he handled it. Managed not to destroy too much this time. You might want to put some medicine on his hands." He drained his teacup and choked out, "Serious rope burns. I think it'll be good for him here, though. Keep his mind occupied, you know?" Katniss nodded slowly. "You know, it's funny, the Hunger Games were meant to pit you against each other...and now look at you." He took a long look at her. "That reminds me. I've got something for you. Come on." She followed him into his bedroom, the room that up until today had belonged to her mother. She was surprised that he hadn't managed to fill the room with empty bottles yet. The decor had changed slightly. The flowers had been removed, and he had brought in some of his own furniture and books. He opened the dresser drawer and pulled out a long green dress. It was sleeveless, with pretty gold trim and beads threaded in throughout. It wasn't bright green, but the color of the meadow grass in springtime.

"It's beautiful," she breathed, touching the silky fabric.

He stared at it too. "It was my mother's." Katniss looked at him. Haymitch had really never talked about his mother. "She was about your size. Try it on. It's yours if you like it." He placed it in her hands. "God knows I don't need it anymore."

"Thank you, Haymitch." She was shocked. He was being strangely kind to her after how she had shouted at him earlier. "You know, I really am sorry I shouted. It's just that I'm worried about him."

Haymitch nodded, not really looking her in the eye. He usually didn't. "He's doing well, considering what he's been through."

She felt tears stinging her eyes. "It's just—all I can think about is how he kept trying to get us to leave him behind, to let him die. And...and I considered it!" The tears spilled over, sliding down her cheeks. "What kind of person does that, Haymitch? No decent person!" Her voice was rising, she was angry at herself. She had never spoken about this, not to anyone. "Like you said, I could never deserve him."

He didn't say anything for a while. "Come here, kid." When she looked up, she saw his arms were outstretched, and she didn't hesitate to fall into them. "You wanted to end his pain, Katniss. Anyone would do that for someone they loved." She knew he was right, but it still seemed so awful, to grant him his wish of death. Even then, in the state he was in, Peeta was willing to die to protect her. Haymitch pulled away just far enough to see her face. "You gonna be okay, sweetheart?"

She nodded, wiping her face. "I have to be."

"Love's a funny thing, isn't it?" he said, chuckling. "You're going along, living your life. You think you know what your path is going to be, and then someone comes along. Hits you like a train going 100 miles an hour. And everything you thought you knew is off the table."

"Is that how it was for you?" she said quietly.

He nodded. "It was short-lived." He smiled sadly. "You two are different. You actually have a chance. Don't...take it for granted." Haymitch was not being subtle. He wasn't even trying. Why was everyone so concerned with her love life? She came in here, upset about Peeta's well-being, and he had to go insinuate that she was in love with him. And not only that, but that she had been in love with him since the Games.


	3. Chapter 3

Katniss stared at herself in the full length mirror. She was standing there awkwardly, the silky green dress hanging off her broad shoulders. It was a beautiful dress, that was true. She wasn't sure how it looked on her. She supposed it looked all right. The green hue looked nice with her skin and eyes. She stared at her arms, and hugged them self-consciously. The scars from the burns were still visible. Even the best medicine in Panem couldn't completely remove them. She fingered the pearl around her neck. It was the one Peeta had given her during the Quarter Quell. She had always kept it close. It had always been a comfort to her. Was she really in love with him? "Are you sure we have to do this, Haymitch?" she called. "I mean, do they really _have_ to see me? I wouldn't want to see me," she added quietly, looking at herself.

"I thought it would be a nice gesture," he said, stepping in. "Just make a little speech, say how glad you are that they are all going to be your new neighbors. Don't be afraid to ham it up a little."

She adjusted the straps of the dress slightly. "I've never been good at the talking stuff, remember? That was always Peeta's job." It had been a long time since she had been in a gown like this. She felt uncomfortable and not like herself.

Haymitch smirked. "Maybe if you ask nicely, he'll do most of the talking." He wanted her to stand up in front of all the refugees in the square and welcome them. She was nervous. It was like being in front of those awful Capitol cameras again. Great, now she was sweating. "Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," she said. "Where's Peeta?"

"Right behind you." She jumped, startled, and then felt his hand slip over her own, and she gave him a small smile through the mirror.

"This is starting to seem a little too familiar," she said, frowning. "Public appearances, holding hands. If I hear anyone use the phrase 'star-crossed lovers,' I might be sick."

They followed Haymitch down the stairs, out the door, and all the way to the village square. Peeta didn't let go of her hand, which she was grateful for. He looked elegant in his black suit and tie. It wasn't the garish style of the Capitol, but simple and traditional. She wondered if that had come from Haymitch as well. Katniss felt like she didn't belong in a dress this lovely. Like she didn't deserve it, somehow. There was intricate beading from the waist down to the hem of the dress, and she took care not to catch her heels on it. Peeta looked at her necklace as they walked down the cobblestone path. "I can't believe you saved that," he said. "How did you manage it?"

"Oh, it wasn't too difficult." She knew she was blushing, but tried not to let on. "I thought it would go well with this outfit. Anything that can give my image a boost, you know," she said, half-joking.

"Well, I think you look beautiful," he said, smiling.

"You look very nice too. And thank you," she said quickly. Neither of them spoke for several minutes as they walked towards the square. Katniss was too nervous. Peeta looked thoughtful, calm even, though she noticed that even _he_ had a greenish hue to his skin. All she could hear was her heart beating, faster and faster as they walked on. "Oh, god," she said under her breath as they approached the square. The entire district had turned out, it seemed, along with the newcomers. Everyone was gathered in front of a large elevated stage that had been temporarily put up for the occasion. Slowly, the crowd began to turn around, pointing wildly, and shouting her name. She started to panic, and stopped walking.

"What is it?" Peeta asked. "Haymitch, wait."

Haymitch turned around. "All right, sweetheart, what's the problem? Short and sweet, that's all they want. Then we can all go home and have a drink."

"No...no, I can't do this," Katniss said, trembling. "I'm not the Mockingjay anymore. I'm not. I can't go up there, in front of all those people, and pretend to be this strong leader of the rebellion." Their joyous cries turned to jeering in her head. She covered her ears, trying to block it out.

"Then let Peeta do all the talking!" Haymitch suggested, pulling her hands down. "You just stand there and smile, okay?"

"I don't even know if I can do that," she said quietly. She paused, looking at the crowd. She would just have to imagine they weren't there. Unfortunately, all she could see was the reaping, and the victory tour...She had to cut off her thoughts because they were starting to stray into horrible images of death and destruction, images that gave her nightmares both day and night.

Peeta held her hand the entire time. She barely heard what he said, but she tried to smile. Although she wasn't sure if she smiled so much as avoided looking completely miserable. Every so often, she would feel him squeeze her hand, as if he were making sure she was still alive. When he was finished speaking, Peeta waved at the crowd and she followed suit. And then it was over, and they were walking back to the house. "Thank you, Peeta," she said softly.

"It was nothing." They both fell silent, and the only sounds she heard were their footsteps. The sun was setting, painting the sky a beautiful orange and pink.

Katniss stopped. He turned and looked at her. "Do you mind? I just want to see the sun set...with you." They were alone. Haymitch had high-tailed it back to the house as soon as the last word left Peeta's mouth. There was a feast of sorts going on in the square, so no one would be coming this way for a while. She looked at his face. He still looked paler than usual, and the circles under his eyes were darker, worse than her own. "Peeta, I wanted to talk to you." The words had come out before she had really thought about it. "But I've never been any good with words, not like you." She paused. "Every time I've felt alone, the truth is that I really haven't been, because you've been there. After Prim died and my mother left, in the Capitol, in the Games, even when we were kids, and I was starving. You were always there. And, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to you. If I was suddenly, truly, left alone." He looked sick, and she was no healer.

"That's never going to happen, Katniss," he said, pulling her close. "I'm not going anywhere without you. No matter what. We're a team, remember? Like Effie said."

She nodded into his shoulder. "It's just...I'm worried about you." She put a hand on his chest, smoothing out his lapel awkwardly. "You're so pale. Are you even sleeping at all? You spend all this time worrying about me, and never think of yourself." It was hard to look him in the eye.

"Don't worry about me, Katniss. I'm okay as long as you're here." He didn't answer her question.

"You don't look okay," she said, frowning. "You're still talking to Dr Aurelius, aren't you?" He didn't answer. "Aren't you?"

He stepped back and it was as if a chasm opened up between them. "I haven't talked to him lately."

"Peeta, you need to. As much as I hate to say it," she added. "He could help you. You'll call him, won't you?"

"Okay," he said, nodding. Katniss pulled him into a hug, shutting her eyes tightly, as if she could squeeze out all the fear and anxiety. She didn't know how long they stood there holding each other, but she slowly pulled away from him.

"You promise?" she said, looking him in the eye. He nodded, resting his forehead against hers. And when his lips found hers, she didn't push him away. She let it happen, gave in, and kissed him back. The hunger was back again, and she was not going to deprive herself now. There was nothing else in the world now, just her and Peeta, and the setting sun.

She shivered and they broke apart. He rubbed his hands back and forth over her arms, trying to warm her up. "Here." In one quick movement, he had his jacket off and over her shoulders. "Come on. As much as I'd like to stay out here kissing you, it's getting dark."

"You're right," she said, leaning into his arm, which was already around her. "Besides, I'm starving."

They had a quiet dinner. Haymitch had already passed out on the couch and was snoring loudly. When they had finished eating, Peeta put together a small plate for Haymitch while Katniss cleaned up. They spent the rest of the evening on her bed, working on the book, Peeta slowly and carefully drawing, while she watched. She wondered if this is what normal people did, people who hadn't survived the Games, people who hadn't fought in a war. No, of course not. Normal people did not draw pictures of dead people and write their obituaries. Normal people made love, had children, and watched them grow.

Peeta yawned widely, stretching his arms. "I'd better get to bed. I'll probably be up in a few hours, anyway." She stared at him, but didn't say anything as he slowly walked to the door. He put a hand on the doorframe, as if to stop himself. "Although," he began.

"What is it?" Katniss asked. _ Don't go, Peeta. Please don't go._

It was almost as if he could read her thoughts. "It's just…" He smiled and laughed a little sheepishly. "Maybe we would both sleep better...if we were together. I would sleep better if you were with me," he added quickly. "Wouldn't you?"

"Like our little arrangement in the Quarter Quell?" Katniss said.

"Exactly," he said.

"Well, I don't see what harm it would do," she said. "We could both use a good night's sleep." She scooted over, making room for him, but instead he went to the window and unlatched it.

"You don't mind, right? I like to have the window open at night." She didn't object, so he removed his boots and climbed in beside her. She immediately rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She felt at peace again, lying in his arms. Nothing could have prepared her for what would happen next.


	4. Chapter 4

Katniss felt the bombs exploding around her, felt the debris hit her skin and the dust and dirt in her eyes. Boggs lie dead near her, blood soaking the ground. She looked around, trying to get her bearings and regain her balance. A hundred feet away, a Peacekeeper was trying to force Peeta back with his rifle. Peeta was handcuffed, but his eyes revealed that he was in another rage, caused by the tracker jacker venom. Even though he was using all of his strength, he was still losing to the much more powerful Capitol guard. Katniss struggled to get to her feet, to run to him. But every step she took felt like she was thigh-deep in molasses. She was just feet from him when the Peacekeeper pushed Peeta to the ground and pulled out his pistol. He pressed the barrel to Peeta's temple, and squeezed the trigger.

A loud rapping sound woke Katniss up and she cried out. She extended her arm, expecting to find Peeta beside her, but her arm met only rumpled sheets. "Peeta? Peeta!" Panicking, she scrambled out of the bed and stumbled down the narrow stairway. All she could see was the gun against his skull and the spray of red blood. As she slipped down the last two steps and grabbed the railing to regain her balance, she heard his voice.

"No, come in! Please! It's no trouble." He wasn't frantic. He didn't sound hurt. He sounded...surprised and maybe a little happy. Or at least he was trying to. She felt her heart beating rapidly, and allowed herself a few seconds to calm down. _One, two, three, four_… She counted to ten. "Make yourselves at home. I'll go get Katniss. She'll want to see you." She didn't understand what was going on. Who was at the door? And why was Peeta running to get her. "Katniss!" He grabbed her shoulders to steady himself. He had come around the corner a little too quickly, and with his prosthetic leg, he was always a bit less steady than he otherwise would be. "He's here-it's Gale!"

She nearly fell backwards when she saw him. Tall, dark hair, strong, healthy. He looked as if nothing had changed, as if he had not been changed. "Hi, Catnip," he said, smiling.

"Oh, my god, Gale!" Before she knew it, she was in his arms. She pushed any other emotions aside and found that she was just happy to see him. It only lasted a moment, though. She couldn't hide the surprise on her face when she saw the tall woman coming up behind him. Her hair was dark too, long and silky. Katniss would have thought she came from the Seam too if it hadn't been for her flawless fair skin and glamorous clothes.

Katniss's arms slid back to her side and she backed away from Gale, folding her arms across her chest, self-consciously. "Sorry," Gale said, shaking his head. "Where's my head? This is Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark." Katniss felt Peeta's hand on the small of her back instantly. It was comforting, but she still felt the urge to run back up the stairs to her room and never come out.

She thought she saw Gale suppress a grimace. She didn't have much time to wonder, because he immediately took the girl's hand gently, pulling her into the conversation. "This is Demetra. She's...my wife." Katniss blinked. Wife? Did he say, wife? It was only a few months ago that he was professing his love for _her_. Hadn't that only been a few months ago? Or had she imagined that? "I'm sure this is kind of a shock for you, but, honestly, it was love at first sight." Gale squeezed Demetra's hand, looking down at her with a sickeningly sweet smile. No. She was imagining this. It wasn't sickening. Gale was clearly in love. And that was wonderful. For him.

"I'm so happy for you," she blurted out, interrupting his story of how they met, and their whirlwind romance in District 2. "Of course, it's wonderful." She kissed his cheek, something that now seemed strange and alien. She stood in front of Demetra for what seemed like minutes, unsure of what to do. Finally, awkwardly, they hugged.

"Congratulations," Peeta said, shaking Gale's hand. He turned to Katniss, briefly trying to read her. "Why don't you get dressed while I put breakfast together?" The last thing she really wanted to do was let Gale leave her sight, but she was grateful for Peeta reminding her of an out to compose herself and prepare for what looked to be an uncomfortable meal.

She changed clothes quickly, but left the pearl necklace around her neck. She splashed water on her face. The dream was still in her mind when she closed her eyes. She tried to wash the thoughts away. By the time she arrived back downstairs, Peeta already had breakfast laid out: some sweet breads, rolls, a plate of cheese, and fresh fruit. He was just preparing the coffee when she met him in the kitchen. "Are you all right?" he said quietly. "I know this is..." He trailed off, unable to find the right word.

She nodded. "I don't know _what _this is, really, other than weird." She glanced over at the table where Gale and Demetra were sitting side by side, talking quietly. "Promise me you won't leave me alone with them," she said.

Peeta kissed her. "I promise." She glanced quickly at Gale, hoping he didn't see the kiss. He wouldn't understand. Peeta handed her the pot of coffee. "I'm right behind you, okay?"

The breakfast was fairly quiet and uneventful. It was mostly small talk, and Katniss mostly held her tongue. Talking had never been her strong suit after all. Peeta carried the weight on his shoulders, engaging them in conversation, asking them about every detail from who attended the wedding to how the cake was decorated. Katniss was disappointed that Haymitch didn't show up, since he might have taken some of the pressure off of her to keep up the conversation. But he was probably still fast asleep. He tended to sleep late into the morning, and sometimes into the afternoon. Gale had gone on about what they had been doing in District 2, mostly humanitarian work for the military. They rebuilt houses, helped people with the skills they needed to rebuild their lives. Sounded like a lot of work. She felt a little ashamed that all she had been doing was trying not to go completely out of her mind. Gale had been saving people again, teaching them to hunt and farm so that they wouldn't starve. Demetra was an actual teacher. She didn't work for the military at all, she worked for a school. She hadn't mentioned where she was from or how she came to District 2, but from the clothes she was wearing and her appearance, Katniss guessed she was not from any of the outlying districts. Once or twice, she caught Gale simply staring at her, trying to read her, maybe.

"How long will you be here for?" Katniss asked, watching Demetra sip her coffee.

Demetra looked at Gale. "We're not sure. As long as they need us, I suppose."

Katniss glanced at Peeta, expecting maybe he understood her meaning. He, of course, had no idea either. "I don't know what you mean. You're not going back to District 2?"

Gale shrugged. "I always check in on Twelve, you know, to make sure things are going as they should be." She wondered what he meant by that, annoyed. Probably according to the military's plans. She didn't necessarily agree with all of their methods, even though she had worked with them for several months. "No school has been set up here. No one was willing to do it. Demetra is a great teacher. Really good with kids." He smiled at her again and she blushed. "And they can always use another hunter here."

"I still hunt," Katniss said. Although, she hadn't been bringing too many animals in lately. And most of what she had managed to kill went to feeding the three of them.

"That's great, Katniss," he replied. She wasn't sure if it was genuine or just patronizing. "Anyhow, I figure there's some way I can be useful here, while Demetra is getting the school set up." He finished his coffee. Katniss hadn't touched hers. She never had liked coffee, unless it had at least three sugar cubes in it. "Well, we should get going. Thanks for breakfast. There's no better baker than you, Peeta."

"Thanks," Peeta said, smiling. It was fortunate he was so composed. That was clearly meant to be an insult, as Gale had always been resentful of Peeta coming from a wealthy family.

Katniss, on the other hand, did not bother to hide her scowl, or her smirk when Gale attempted to pet Buttercup but only received a hiss in return. She didn't really care who saw it. She watched them walk away from the Victor's Village, which was now bustling with refugee families. "Why did he have to come back?" she said to no one in particular. Peeta didn't reply, but she saw Gale glance back. She pulled the curtains to cover the window. It was inevitable. She and Gale were going to have to talk, privately.

She heard the clanking of dishes and drew back to the kitchen where Peeta was quietly cleaning up. "Let me do that. You put breakfast together."

"It's okay. I've got it," he said, not looking at her.

"Peeta," she said. "I didn't know he was coming."

He dried his hands. "I know. I'm just trying to process what's going on. That's all."

"Well, let me know when you figure it out." She smiled weakly, but she suspected it turned out looking more like a grimace. "I'm going to go hunting." She had to get out of town, just for a little while. That wounded look in Peeta's eyes was making her feel terrible. She touched his shoulder lightly before throwing on her father's jacket, grabbing her bow and arrows, and walking out the front door.

Peeta would come around. He had to know that things were over with Gale. He was a friend, sure, even family, but never could be anything more. What was he doing back here, anyway? That business with the school...what a joke. It was as if he came back here just to spite her, to wreck what relationship she had been able to build with Peeta.

The minutes ticked by slowly, turning into hours, and then days. Katniss found herself escaping into the woods for solitude more and more often. She stopped showing up for meals, avoiding Gale and Demetra. For some reason, they kept showing up at the house, expecting to be fed. Demetra prattled on about their romance, wedding, and anything else that came to her mind, it seemed. Gale said little, simply staring at her. She sat on her bed one evening, staring at the wall. Gale had come back here to punish her, to make her feel guilty for getting better. She was supposed to get better with him.

No. That was crazy. Gale loved her. She was sure of that. She had thought she loved him too, though not in the same way, but all that his presence had done so far was make her miserable.

"Katniss?" The voice was so soft. She almost thought it was Prim. But Prim was gone. She must have been imagining it. No one was there. "Katniss, now I'm worried about you." She turned her head slightly, but didn't respond. The door closed softly behind her.

"Peeta." She slowly got out of bed. She went out into the corridor, stepping over a plate of steamed potatoes and carrots. For the first time in days, she crept down the stairs. She heard Peeta's voice. There was no other audible voice, so he must have been on the phone.

"Things aren't great. Have you talked to Katniss lately?" A pause. "No, she won't say much to me either." There was another long pause. "He came back." Gale. His voice sounded so dead. "Completely unannounced. But what was I supposed to do? I haven't lost my manners completely yet. I think he would do the same for me. Maybe." Katniss pursed her lips. She wasn't sure if Gale would, not with how jealous he was. "She's not herself." Back to her again. "She hardly eats. Hardly goes out anymore, except to the woods. She never talks to anyone. The one thing she does is sleep. At least, she spends a lot of time lying in bed." Another pause. "Journaling? I don't know. I've been at the bakery a lot. It's hard for me to be at home when she's like this. I'd never tell her that," he added quickly. "It's just that she won't be comforted by anything. I feel completely helpless." There was a long period of silence. Dr Aurelius must have had a lot to say about how horrible she was being. "Okay, I'll do that." She wondered what he had agreed to. "Thank you. B-." He was interrupted by more talking from the other end of the phone. "I'm fine. I mean, I thought I was. But this whole thing with Katniss and Gale...I wonder if it would be better if I moved into the bakery." There was another long pause. "Okay. Okay. Yes. I will. Bye."

She heard him hang up the telephone, and then stepped out into room. He was standing, staring at the phone, bracing himself against the table. "Are you all right?"

He started, and then smiled weakly. "I should say the same thing to you."

"You're talking about me like I'm some invalid," she said, annoyed, but too tired to have any fire behind it.

"Dr Aurelius says you're in some kind of depressive state," he said slowly. "You're not an invalid." He watched her as she stood there, awkwardly, leaning on one leg. "You're not."

She felt like she was going to cry. Again. Why? Her stomach growled loudly. "I guess I'm a little hungry." She didn't want to bring up what he said about leaving. She didn't want to think about it, to face that she was driving him away.

"I can help with that," he said, perking up. "You know, you're even starting to worry Haymitch," he said as they walked to the kitchen. "And you know it takes a lot to faze him."

That coaxed a smile out of her. "Wow, no wonder you were worried enough to call the doctor." He smiled at her and busied himself with cutting a loaf of bread into even slices. "I'm sorry for the way I've been acting." He stopped, as if he were going to speak, but then continued cutting the bread. "It's just hard to deal with, him being back here."

Peeta set down the knife. "I wish you would talk to me about it."

She took a piece of bread, slowly picking off pieces and eating them. "I'm not sure you're the best person to talk about Gale with," she said, staring at the bread between her fingers.

"I guess you have a point. But you _can _talk to me, if you want. I'm a good listener." He stared at her, slowly chewing a mouthful of bread. "Maybe you should talk to _him_...about it." She gaped at him. What? Why would he want her to talk to Gale? That wasn't in his best interest at all. For all Peeta knew, she would end up in Gale's arms and they would run off together into the woods, never to be seen again. "Wouldn't you be worried about losing me?"

"That's just it," he said. "If you don't talk to him, I feel like I'll have lost you anyway."


	5. Chapter 5

Katniss knelt in the woods, watching a flock of wild turkeys. This was the first time she had ventured out of the house in days, and only at Peeta's request. His words still stung like the point of a knife in her heart. But, crouched in the fallen leaves, she had to admit that the fresh air felt good. Wild turkeys were about the only animal still out at this time of day. It had taken her several hours to track them down, and, even near dusk, the sun was still scorching. It was very hot for the end of September. The trees in the woods provided a little shade, but without a cool breeze, it was still miserable. She knew that as the sun set, the temperature would drop dramatically, and she needed to get home before that happened. She drew her arrow back, let the string rest against her nose, and let it fly. Right in the eye. The turkey fell down, dead. The rest of the flock scattered. She smiled, satisfied. She hadn't lost her touch.

"Thought I'd find you here, Catnip," came Gale's voice. "I guess your habits haven't changed too much."

She watched him retrieve the turkey, carrying it by its feet. "And you're still sneaking up on people, I see." They smiled at each other briefly, though it seemed forced. "What are you doing here, Gale?" she asked, retrieving her arrow.

"Your babysitters were worried," he replied. "They thought you might have run off." He smiled. "I wouldn't blame you."

Katniss looked at him, eyes narrowed. He was trying to bait her. But they were both clearly dancing around the issue at hand. "So...Demetra seems nice."

"She is nice," Gale said. "Very nice. She's really great." Katniss wondered who he was trying to convince: her or himself?

"The marriage was a little...fast, though," she said, not looking him in the eye. "I mean, it seems like you really rushed into it."

"Katniss," he began, his voice strained. "Let's not do this. You know why I had to do that."

She tried to look innocent. "I don't know what you're talking about. Didn't you marry her because the two of you are madly in love? Wasn't it love at first sight?"

"Katniss."

"I think those were your words, Gale," she went on. Everything that she had not said in the last several days was coming out now. "I mean, you must have really swept her off her feet. What do you love most about her? Is it her perfect face or her lack of brains? I suppose it's easy to love someone who hangs on your every word like a lovesick schoolgirl."

"I'm in love with you, Katniss!" he nearly yelled. He sounded angry. She stopped. The playful banter was clearly over, what little there had been. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted." Katniss shook her head, unable to speak. Suddenly he was hugging her tightly, as if he was worried she would float away if he let go. "I had to find somebody, Katniss. If I couldn't have you, I had to get over you. It was the only way." She wasn't going to say it, but the way he was holding her didn't seem like someone who was over her. She had missed being in his embrace, she realized. When he finally let go, he picked up the turkey that had been cast aside. "I'll walk back with you. If that's okay," he added.

She nodded and slung her bow over her shoulders. She didn't need to stash it in the hollow log, but she still had the urge to. "Why did you come back here, Gale, really?"

He sighed. "I didn't like the way things ended between us." He paused, as if waiting for her to speak. "I never really got a chance to say goodbye. And...I wanted to see you." He looked at her, taking a breath. "Besides, Demetra was getting restless in Two." He paused. "She really is a good person, Katniss. I do care for her...just not like I do for you." He paused, taking a few steps towards her. "It's different. It's like my life is split in two." He didn't need to explain any more; she knew he meant before and after the rebellion. "Demetra only knows part of my life. She doesn't really know me, not like you do." He rubbed the back of his neck. "There will never be anyone who understands me like you do, Katniss."

"You don't mean that," she said.

She was feeling very uncomfortable with where this conversation was going. Not to mention she was alone with him in the woods, where hardly anyone ever went, especially on a Sunday evening. He took her hand, firmly but gently, causing her to halt her quick pace. "I thought that I was forgetting you, but out here...in our woods...it's all coming back." Again, she was speechless, gaping at him. "I have to be near you, Katniss, at least for a little while." He put his other hand on her arm and leaned down.

She didn't know what to do. What was happening? Why was he coming at her like this? His hand was on the back of her neck, and she found her voice, pulling her arm out of his grip and ducking to get his hand off of her neck. "What are you doing?"

"I was…" He sighed. "I wanted to show you that I still love you."

"You think you can come back here and make love to me after what you did-after what you helped them do?" she snapped. "And then you expect me to get into my bed every night with Peeta with that thought in my head?" She realized too late what she had said, and immediately clammed up.

Now it was his turn to look shocked. "Wait. You're _sleeping _with him?" he growled, dropping the turkey.

"So, what if I am?" In fact, that was all they were doing, sleeping. Gale was insinuating a more physical relationship, however. "You're married to someone else! It's none of your business who I sleep with! I could sleep with every man in the district!" His face was flushed, so was hers. "You left! What did you expect me to do? Wait for you to come back? Be alone for the rest of my life? I'm not even sure I've forgiven you yet."

"Katniss, I didn't know!" he shouted. "I loved Prim like she was my own sister! If I had known, I would have done anything I could to stop it from happening."

"Don't talk about her," Katniss said, tears in her eyes. "You don't have the right to talk about her."

"That's not fair," was all he could manage.

"Not fair? It's not fair that Prim was murdered! She was a child! She had her whole life ahead of her!" She slumped down on a hollow log. He opened his mouth to reply, but simply sat down next to her instead. They sat in silence for a few minutes. "You never should have come back," she said, looking at him.

"I had to," he said, leaning in and kissing her.

She pulled away quickly, standing at once and grabbing the turkey by the neck. "You can't do that anymore." Her cheeks were hot.

"Katniss," he said, rising and walking towards her.

"No." She looked around her, trying to get her bearings. "I have to go." Katniss took off running through the woods, her bow in one hand, the turkey in the other. Her cheeks were still wet from tears. She heard him calling her name and hoped he would not follow her. It was nearly dusk. Sweat was dripping from her face. She was getting close to town, when her foot caught on something hidden under the leaves, and she went sprawling. Pain immediately hit her ankle. It wasn't broken, or sprained, she saw, when she uncovered what she had tripped on. Barbed wire was wrapped around her ankle. She was bleeding, but it didn't look too bad. "Dammit," she whispered. "Stupid." This wasn't the first time she had gotten tangled in barbed wire since they returned to District 12, but it was definitely the worst run-in she'd had yet. The citizens who came back had tried to remove it, but they had missed the bits that were scattered in the initial bombing. She carefully removed the wire, trying not to do any unnecessary damage, biting the back of her hand to stifle her cries of pain. Each barb stung and released fresh blood when she removed it, staining her pant leg. Using her bow for leverage, she pulled herself up with difficulty. She headed back to the village, trying to put as little weight on her right leg as possible. Despite the terrible pain in her leg, the thought that she let Gale kiss her hurt even more.

"Whoa, whoa, sweetheart! What's going on?" Haymitch said. Katniss was limping. The pain had only gotten worse as she walked, but she had wrapped her ankle up and hidden it underneath her pant leg. Haymitch was in the square, talking to Demetra. "Oh, you caught dinner! Any whiskey with that?"

"I'm not in the mood, Haymitch," she said. Demetra looked like she was going to be sick, staring wide-eyed at the turkey, blood dripping out from its wound. Katniss took pleasure in moving the dead turkey closer to her, watching her put her hand to her mouth.

"Where are you two staying, Demetra?" Haymitch asked, immune to the carcass. "We've got extra space if you need a room." Katniss glared at him. He didn't seem to notice.

"Oh." Demetra looked surprised too. Maybe she would decline it, see how awkward it would be to live under the same roof. She had to know that it would be a bad idea. "Erm, that would be lovely. Thank you!" She managed a small smile.

Haymitch smiled, nodding. "Good. Supper's at seven. If you like to drink, bring your own." He looked at his watch.

"He's not lying about that," Katniss said when Demetra laughed. "Really. Well, Haymitch, we really ought to be going now." She pulled him away down the street. When they were well out of earshot, she demanded, "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking they didn't have a place to stay," he said, laughing at her. "I've watched that girl stand around the square for five days, now. Like some kind of stray dog. He eyed her, placing his arm around her to help her walk. "Is that going to be a problem, sweetheart?" Haymitch always saw right through her, always knew what she was thinking even before she thought it. She pulled at her torn pant leg slightly, drawing his attention to the dark red stain. "What did you do now?"

"I tripped in some barbed wire," she said. "Right after I had a huge fight with Gale." He didn't respond as they approached the Victor's Village. "I wish you hadn't offered them a room."

"Still some bad blood between you, huh?" Haymitch rubbed his neck. "I guess this will give you a chance to work through things."

"I guess." Katniss handed him the turkey. "Clean this up, would you?" She washed her ankle off using the water pump outside. It didn't look as bad after that, but it didn't look much better either. It was still bleeding. She quickly dressed the wound. Peeta was not around, which was unusual for this late in the evening. She wondered if he was painting, and eventually found him alone in the study. "Peeta."

"Hey," he said, barely looking up from the book. "You missed lunch."

"I thought you would have gone to work at the bakery. I'm sorry. I got a little held up in the square." She paused, trying to read him, though he had hardly looked up at all, and was intent on whatever he was reading. "Haymitch had done something kind of stupid," she began. This got his attention, though she wasn't sure why. Haymitch did lots of stupid things when he was drunk, and even when he wasn't. "He offered Gale and his...wife a...a room in this house. I didn't ask him to," she said quickly. "I never would have. I was happy the way things were."

Peeta set the book down. "I was too." He watched her leaning in the doorway. "They'll be here tonight, then?" She nodded. He stood up and approached her slowly. "We've been through hell and back, Katniss. I think we can get through this." He smiled.

"I hope you're right," she said, averting her eyes. All she could think of was Gale's lips moving towards hers, and how she had let him kiss her. She felt like she had betrayed Peeta, though she had really made no commitment to him.

"Maybe you'd feel better if you talked to him. I know you haven't," he added when she opened her mouth to object. "Let him explain himself. He's not a monster, Katniss. For God's sake, you grew up together."

She didn't want to have this discussion now, or ever. "What about what you said about moving out? Why won't you talk to _me _about _that_?" She crossed her arms.

"You weren't supposed to hear that," Peeta said quietly.

"Well, I did." She watched him. His brow was furrowed, but he didn't look away. "So, are you leaving? Because of me?"

He exhaled slowly. "I was thinking about it. I never really thought I would, though." He took her hands gently. "I never wanted to. I only thought about it because I thought it might...I thought you might be happier that way."

"That won't make me happy." She wanted to tell him that that would be the worst thing he could do right now. That it would kill her. She wrapped her arms around him. "I don't want there to be any more secrets between us, okay? If there's something wrong, you have to tell me."

"Okay," he said, kissing the space between her neck and her shoulder. "No more secrets. That goes for you too." There was a knock at the door, and they broke apart. "Ready?"

"I think so." The truth was, she felt sick. How could they have gotten here so fast? She would almost rather face the Capitol guards right now than face Gale.


	6. Chapter 6

The evening was excruciating. Neither Katniss nor Gale was able to speak, other than grunting yes or no. She felt Gale staring at her several times, but each time it happened, she would fixate on whoever was speaking or would become very interested in the food on her plate. For at least two hours, Peeta and Demetra made uncomfortable small talk with Haymitch, who spent most of the time stifling his laughter at the scowl on Katniss's face. Katniss grasped Peeta's hand under the table. Feeling his fingers squeeze hers back gave her some measure of comfort. As soon as it was polite to excuse themselves, Demetra and Gale retired to their temporary bedroom, leaving the three former victors alone.

"Well, that was delightful," Haymitch said, finally able to laugh out loud. He poured some of his whiskey into a tumbler, and Katniss promptly drained it. "Believe it or not, sweetheart, I didn't do this just to make you angry."

She glared at him. "Really? Because it sure seems that way."

Peeta took the empty tumbler away, frowning at her. "Well, we're stuck with them now. It would be rude to kick them out. So, let's try to make the best of it."

"I'm not sure how that's possible," Katniss grumbled.

"Okay, what happened?" Peeta asked, giving her a hard look. "I know something happened. You're more sullen than usual. And so is Gale. You said there wouldn't be any more secrets," he pressed on after a moment.

"I know." Katniss could barely look at him. She exhaled slowly. "When I went out to hunt earlier, Gale followed me, and...we argued." There was also the part about him kissing her, but she thought she had better leave that out. Peeta didn't need to know that. He probably wouldn't even _want _to know, so really, she was just sparing his feelings. "I stormed off and left him there on his own."

"Katniss, I know this is hard for you," Peeta began.

"Hard? No, the Hunger Games was hard. This is just..." She slumped back in her chair, unsure of how to end the sentence.

"Do you want me to say something?" he asked, taking a seat next to her. "I can see if I can find them another room in town." He looked at Haymitch, who had surprisingly remained silent through their entire conversation.

"No," Katniss said, shaking her head. "I just need to put up with them both until they leave."

"What if they don't leave?" Peeta said. She didn't respond at first. "Katniss, what if Demetra sets up her school, and they never leave? Are you prepared to live like this? I mean, he _is _your best friend."

"Was," she said coldly. "Now he's just like everybody else." She slowly pushed the leftover food around on her plate.

"And it's not just the way you're behaving towards them," he said. "You're different. Before they came, I thought...I thought we were getting better. Both of us. Now...I don't know. I mean, this is the first time you've had supper with us since they got here."

She met his eyes briefly, ashamed. He was right. She wasn't sure of herself anymore either. "I know that I haven't dealt with this in the best way, but I _am_ feeling better, Peeta. Really," she said, looking him straight in the eye. When he didn't respond other than to nod, she said, "I don't know why he came back here. Just to mess with our life, I guess." She stared bitterly at the table for a moment. Gale knew what he might cause by returning, but he had come back anyway. "I'll clean up. You go on up to bed. You must be tired." She gave him a weak smile. "I'll be okay. I'll be up as soon as I put everything away."

He looked at her hesitantly, but he was clearly too tired to argue. "If you're sure." He kissed the top of her head and slowly made his way up the stairs. She didn't look, but she knew that he was watching her. She sat still for a few minutes. There was silence but for the wind howling outside. Haymitch kept quiet too, and she was surprised when he offered to clean up. That almost never happened.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked, sitting across from her.

"You can't tell Peeta," she said after a moment's thought.

"That depends on how good the secret is," he said, smiling. At her glare, he said, "Only joking. I won't say a word."

She took a deep breath. "I told you that I had a fight with Gale. But the worst part…" She was blushing. "The worst part is that he's still in love with me."

"Can't say that I'm surprised by that," Haymitch said.

"He tried to kiss me," she said. "And then he _did_ kiss me," she added, mortified by her own words.

"Well, what did you do about it?"

"I told him to stop it, of course!" She ran a hand through her hair, exasperated. "He wants me to run away with him."

"He said that?"

"Well, not in so many words, but that's what he meant!" She rubbed her wounded ankle. The pain was creeping up her shin now, and the bandages felt damp.

Haymitch nodded slowly and said, "Did you tell him, no?"

"It's not as simple as that!" she said. "I don't want to be with him. I can't be. He's married and...and I can't look at him without seeing my sister. But I don't want to cut him out of my life completely. I just want to be friends."

"Then tell him that." Haymitch was so reasonable. Unfortunately, they both knew too well that people don't operate reasonably all the time.

"He doesn't listen. He thinks he knows me better than I do. I don't know if I know what's best for me, but I know _he _doesn't either. And he never really liked Peeta," she continued. "How could I be with Peeta and still have Gale in my life?" Haymitch looked like he was at a loss for words, opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

They both heard the stairs creak. Katniss was afraid to turn around, but Haymitch said loudly, "Hey, Gale. Couldn't sleep?"

"Not really, no." He stood, awkwardly wiping his hands on the front of his pants. He hadn't even changed out of his clothes.

"Have a seat," Haymitch said good-naturedly. "You'll find that we don't do a lot of sleeping here at night. Damaged goods." He gestured to his head.

"How much did you hear?" Katniss asked, turning to face Gale.

"Enough."

"So, you can add eavesdropping to the list of your skills," she said bitterly, turning away.

"That sounds like my cue to go," Haymitch said, getting up. "Oh, just a tip. Peeta's not a heavy sleeper, so I'd keep your voices down if you don't want to be interrupted." He squeezed her shoulder as he walked by. She knew he would be just down the hallway if she needed him.

Gale took a seat next to her. "I just wanted to say...I'm sorry about what I did earlier. It was out of line. I shouldn't have pushed things."

"You can't kiss me, you know. You just can't. I don't care how you _feel_." She took a long breath, rubbing her forehead. "_I _don't feel that way for _you_. Not anymore. Not for a long time."

"I know." He took her hand and she flinched, but didn't pull away. His skin was rough against hers, and he smelled like grass and dried leaves. "I just miss you." She suddenly felt tired and a small smile formed lazily on her lips, seemingly against her will. She didn't have anything to smile about, really.

"I miss you too." And that was the truth. He had been a part of her life for almost a decade. He had been with her for the ups and downs in District 12. "Why can't we just be friends again, like before?" Her eyelids were drooping, and she was fighting to stay upright. She didn't understand why everything looked so hazy and why she was so sleepy all of the sudden.

"We never stopped being friends, Katniss," he said. "It's just...I want more."

"I can't _give_ you any more, Gale," she said, exasperated. "The girl you knew is gone, I'm just an empty shell. And you deserve better. You _have _better. You have Demetra. Peeta and me...we just have each other." Her thoughts were all muddled, and she found that she was having trouble stringing words together. "I'm...done." She tried to get up, but found that it was hard to move her leg, like it was a dead weight. "I'm going to bed." With difficulty, she pulled herself to her feet.

He was still holding her hand. "Katniss, give me another chance. Please." She felt light-headed, dizzy, and she had just noticed the blood stain on her pant leg when her legs gave out and she fell to the floor.

Katniss felt something cold trickling down the side of her face. She opened her eyes and looked around, but everything still looked blurry. She wasn't sure where she was. It didn't look like home, but she couldn't remember what had happened. She wiped the water off her neck and removed the sopping rag from her forehead. Her eyes were slowly coming into focus. She was in the study. It was fairly dark, but for one lamp on the other side of the room. She sat up slowly. The bandages on her leg had been removed, and there was some kind of salve on the wound. The cuts from the barbed wire had been bad. Her leg was swollen and red, and it stung when she touched it, even lightly.

"How are you feeling?" Gale asked from the armchair.

"Weird," she replied. "What happened?" she asked blearily.

"You passed out," he said, yawning. "A couple hours ago. Made a horrible crash, though. You took a chair and a side table down with you." He smiled. "Always the flair for the dramatic."

"Where's Peeta?" Katniss asked.

Gale's smile faded. "Demetra and Peeta came down when they heard the crash. I sent Demetra back to bed. She's not much good around blood. Peeta was a little upset you hadn't told him about your leg. I didn't catch most of the muttering, but he didn't sound happy. I told him I'd keep an eye on you while he went out for more bandages." He paused, smirking. "He wasn't very happy about that either."

"We have plenty of bandages," she said slowly.

"I know," he said, winking. She mustered a small smile, but immediately felt guilty. Peeta was probably terrified for her right now, and Gale sent him on an unnecessary quest just to get him out of the house. "There it is! I was wondering if you even knew how to smile anymore. I hadn't seen one from you in a long time."

"I smile plenty," she replied. "Just not at you. I can't believe you sent him off to town in the middle of the night," she said after a moment.

"How else was I going to get rid of him?" Gale said, laughing. "I was getting tired of watching him pacing around the room like some nervous cat." She found herself smiling again. It was so easy to be swept away by his charm, easy to fall into the friendship they used to have, too easy to forget what had passed between them in the last year. "You'll have to cover for me, so he doesn't find out. He might beat me up with a flour sack or something."

She laughed out loud, and then covered her mouth. "It's not funny, Gale."

He swept a few strands of her hair out of her eyes. "Come on, Katniss, I know you still love me. Why don't you just admit it?"

She fell silent, frowning. "You say that we're still friends," she said softly, pushing his hand away. "Then I should be able to tell you anything, right?"

"Of course." He took a seat next to her.

"I think I love _him_, Gale," she said, not wasting any more time. "I think...I love Peeta." She barely knew, herself, but she thought it must be true. She stole a glance, though she was afraid to see his reaction. He looked disappointed.

He sighed. "I guess I was right. How could I compete with someone who's been tortured with tracker jacker venom?"

"It's not about that, Gale. You're my best friend, more like my family. You've got so much passion. And they didn't call me 'girl on fire' for the flames alone. I've got enough fire inside me for ten people. I need someone to be rational when I can't, someone to be there when I wake up screaming in the middle of the night, someone who understands everything I've been through. And that's Peeta." She watched him struggling to deal with this news. "Look at the mess we made today. And we were only alone a few minutes." She stopped, realizing her small attempt at humor was less than successful. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," he said, shrugging. "Fine." He slid off the couch. "You should get some sleep, though." They heard the door open and close, and someone's rapid footsteps. "That'll be your white knight now." Peeta, cheeks flushed from the cold air, appeared in the doorway almost immediately. "Peeta," Gale said, taking care to shove his shoulder into him as he passed.

"Gale!" Katniss said, annoyed. She wanted to run after him, but remembered her leg was in no state for that.

Suddenly Peeta had his arms around her so tightly that if it had been anyone else, she would have been uncomfortable. "I shouldn't have left your side, I'm sorry. I never will again, I promise. I just—thank God you're okay." She smiled shyly, even though no one could see, and pressed her face into his chest. He was trembling slightly. She must have looked pretty bad, passed out on the floor, for him to be this worried.

"It's okay, I'm fine," she said. "Did you bring the bandages?"

"Yeah." He pulled away, but before doing anything else, he kissed her. It was short, but sweet, and also a little wet. Was he crying? He was good at hiding it. He gently wrapped her leg in the fresh white bandages. His touch was so light that she barely felt any pain at all. Although, that probably had a lot to do with the numbing agent that Gale had spread over it while she was still unconscious. "I shouldn't have gone anywhere," he said, sitting down next to her.

"I needed the bandages, and somebody needed to go." She wasn't about to tell him that they had a cupboard full in the kitchen. "Thank you for doing that."

"Don't thank me, Katniss. I had to. I love you." His blue eyes were boring into her own. "I'd do anything for you." He looked away. "I don't care what happens to me as long as you're happy." He looked down where their fingers were entwined.

She shook her head. "Peeta, what are you talking about?"

"I know Gale was just trying to get rid of me. We have a cabinet full of these in the other room," he said, tossing a roll of bandages aside. "So if you want to be with him, I understand." She shook her head, but he wouldn't let her speak. "He's a survivor. He protected you when I couldn't, and I'll never be able to repay him for that." He was holding her hand so tightly now. Just like Gale, this did not seem like the behavior of someone willing to let her go. "I love you, but...I also want to do what's best for you, and if that means letting you go...Like Haymitch said, I'm damaged." So, he hadn't been sleeping either. "I can hardly take care of myself. I don't want you to be burdened with taking care of me."

"What about me?" she said. "I'm damaged too!" she nearly shouted. "I spend half my time in a daze, and the other half going out and hurting myself! You think I want you to waste your life putting mine back together?"

"Then let's do it, just one more time," he said, his face stern. "You love me. Real or not real?"

This time she didn't hesitate. She didn't need to. "Real," she said.

"Real?" There was a mixture of disbelief and joy on his face.

She nodded. "Real." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. She kissed him back as he pulled her in closer, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I love you too," he said softly, kissing her again. He wiped the tears from her cheeks. She laughed, giddy, searching his eyes. Everything else was out of her mind: Gale, the stinging pain in her leg, her exhaustion, everything.

He helped her upstairs, and insisted that he help her change into her pajamas, only because he didn't want to let her out of his sight again. She curled up as close to him as she could with her injured leg, and buried her face in his chest. His undershirt smelled like sweat, but right now, she didn't care. She was going to enjoy this moment while she could. Within only a few minutes, she was asleep. And when she woke up several hours later, gasping, he was there to hold her until she fell back to sleep. If this was as close to normal as her life could get, she would be content with that.

When Katniss woke up the next morning, the first thing she saw were his bright blue eyes staring back at her. She smiled sleepily. "How long have you been watching me sleep?"

"Long enough to miss seeing those pretty grey eyes of yours," he said, smiling. "Come here." He extended his arm out to her and she leaned against him, her head resting just below his.

"It feels like last night was a dream," she said. She checked under the covers and looked at her leg. Still bandaged up. "I guess it was real, then." The elation of the night before couldn't last forever. She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Can we just stay in bed today?"

"What's wrong?"

"It's Gale." She felt him tense up. "I told him that I was never going to be with him. He wasn't happy."

Peeta rubbed his shoulder. "That explains him shoving me." He sighed and pulled her closer. "Let's just stay here, then."

She smiled, but the truth was that hiding in her bedroom all day would be worse than just facing Gale. He probably wouldn't want to speak to her. And that turned out to be true. He was nowhere to be seen when they finally made their way downstairs. Had she broken him beyond repair? Peeta didn't want to leave her alone, even though he had things to do at the bakery. "Go," Katniss said. "I'll be fine. I'll come see you in a few hours."

"Okay," he said, pulling on his coat. "But if you need anything, have Haymitch come get me." He kissed her. "I'll see you soon."

This was how things went for the next week: Peeta would fret about leaving her, but finally go at Katniss's insisting. She tried to stay off of her leg as much as possible. That meant no hunting, no gardening, no _anything_. Peeta tried to help her get into sketching and painting, but she wasn't any good at either of those. She found that Demetra was rather good at knitting and was willing to teach her. Katniss wasn't too bad at that, and she found it a little relaxing, even, so she kept at it. After a day or two, she had a simple scarf made. Just in time for winter.


End file.
